Sabbath #4: I'm Not Hungry

Looking back over the last 3 Sabbaths, the thing that was at the forefront was food; more specifically is was my wanting to eat food, but not being able to do so. This Sabbath I focussed on not focussing on the food. Rather I would start focusing on what really mattered.

Eating

While sometimes we say we are going to do something, only to fail miserably, I actually succeeded, with some much needed help from above, in not being hungry for the majority of the Sabbath. While I was a little bit hungry, it was no more than I would have been feeling had I actually eaten.

It seams like every time I sit down to a meal during the Sabbath (a meal that I can't partake of), people apologize for the fact that they are eating. This does not help me in the slightest in holding back my urge to eat; it actually makes it worse. It highlights the fact that I am not eating. Rather I want people to be eating all the more voraciously, and to appreciate the food that they are eating. If I can't eat, you guys might as well eat and not feel sorry for me.

Feasting

One of the spiritual disciplines that I'm finding I am learning a lot about is feasting. Feasting is pretty much the exact opposite of fasting, but they both have the same goal, appreciation. Feasting is the partaking something, a meal for instance, in recognition of all the blessings that God has given us, and to enjoy it all the more because it is a gift from God; fasting is not partaking some, a meal for instance, to show us all the blessings that God has given us, and to enjoy them all the more when we are able to partake of them because they are gifts from God. Fasting and feasting can work hand in hand. What better time to have a feast then when you have just finished fasting? While I have been eating a large meal upon the completion of each Sabbath, I will now take part in feasting while I eat that meal. It is for this same reason that I ask the rest of you to eat all the more voraciously while I can't; because you should be appreciating the gifts that God has given you.

Bible Reading

Last Sabbath, I didn't do any Bible reading, so this Sabbath I made it a point to do some. This Sabbath I focused my efforts on 1 Peter. I had read a little bit of it before, actually one of my favorite Bible verses is 1 Peter 1:15-16 "But just as he who called you is holy, so be hole in all you do; for it is written; "Be holy, because I am holy." (the explanation for why this is my favorite is too long to write here, so if you are curious, come and ask me) In 1 Peter, it talks about living for God and not being afraid to suffer for God and what you believe. The one thought that I had is:

What would it look like if we were so full of the Holy Spirit that we were doing things that caused us to suffer? Not bringing suffering upon ourselves for suffering's sake. Rather that by being so fully immersed in the Holy Spirit and allowing Him to work in, and through us, that we would actually cause the world to start persecuting us if they wanted to try and stop the Spirit from working?

It's a crazy idea to yearn for suffering, one that I hope to explore in the coming weeks.

Sabbath #3: The Food Smells Really Good

This Sabbath was wierd in that I was looking forward to both its beginning and its end. The week before this Sabbath was very long and not very restful, and so I was looking forward to the ability to rest. I was looking forward to the end, because that was when I could eat again. Overall, though, this Sabbath was not very special.

Unintentionality

In a past Bible study we went through Leviticus. Among many other laws and regulations, are the ones concerning unintentional sins. Some of us were unable to grasp how somebody could sin unintentionally. They know the laws, and they know what they are doing, so they should know that they are sinning, therefore no sins would be unintentional. This Sabbath, however, I experienced unintentionally "sinning". I'm not entirely sure that it is, in fact, a sin, but I do know that buying gas does break the rules I set out during Project Sabbath. I knew exactly what I was doing, buying gas, but it never crossed my mind, at least not until after I had finished pumping and paying for the gas, that I was violating the rules. I now have a new respect for a God who would think to include regulations for the unintentional sinners, myself included.

Food

Of all the things that I was focusing on this Sabbath, food was the thing I was focusing on the most. Once again, I was tested in my fast by some very good smelling food prepared by the hands of Yvonne Macias, a very good cook for those of you who are unfamiliar with her. I got to sit at a table while a dozen or so other people were eating, while I had to sit back and consume only water. Yvonne was gracious enough to save some food for me, which I pretty much annihilated once the sun went down.

The Remainder

With all the things that were happening, I did not have the time to do hardly any soul searching/growing in faith. Friday night was taken up by the passing out of bags as part of a food drive that we are holding. Saturday afternoon was taken up with hanging out at the Macias' house, and thinking about the food I was going to be eating when the sun finally went down. This doesn't mean that this Sabbath was a waste. I helped people with the food drive and grew closer to my friends by hanging out and socializing. In future weeks, however, I will make sure there is at least some emphasis on the getting closer to God, especially since that is the ultimate goal of Project Sabbath.

Sabbath #2: The Fun Begins

Last Sabbath did not feel like it counted. I kept all the parts of the fast, but my time, and therefore my mind were occupied by various activities that occupied the better part of the Sabbath, namely the benefit concert and a rather long nap (3 hours). This week was, in my opinion, the first true test of my resolve and felt more like I anticipated that it would. My experiences/struggles/ideas are chronicled here:

Food

This was probably the hardest part of the whole Sabbath. Mainly because I had to sit through two meals (Rochelle’s manicotti smelled especially good) while my friends ate in front of me. It also took a considerable amount of restraint to not gorge myself at the Tabuenca’s house upon the end of my fast. The roll I had right before heading over there was not so lucky and was pretty much all gone in the time it took for me to walk from the kitchen to the front door; the word annihilation comes to mind. For the most part, though, it was just a dull reminder in my stomach that Sabbath is a special day; the not eating also highlighted for others the fact that I was honoring Project Sabbath.

After reading a little bit of Shane Claiborne’s “The Irresistible Revolution: Living as an Ordinary Radical”, thinking of stories like Zacchaeus (Luke 19), and considering Jesus’ words about giving your money to the poor, I will make my food fasts more meaningful. Rather than simply abstaining from food, all the money that I would have been spending on food ($5/meal) will go to the poor ($180 total for the duration of Project Sabbath). The money will be given as a straight donation or used to buy raw materials for projects such as crocheting, with the products made being given to the poor.

Prayer

One of the big areas that has been lacking in my life is prayer. It would not be out of the ordinary for me to go long stretches of time without praying, unless prompted to by others at church etc. Since one of the main goals of Project Sabbath is to connect with God, I figured I should start praying. I’m setting for myself a minimum of 1 prayer a day, typically taken before I go to bed, and a prayer to start and end the Sabbath; more prayer is obviously strongly suggested, but this is a minimum. Rather than simply lie in bed and let my prayer be at the mercy of my sleepiness and wandering mind, I am choosing that my end-day and pre/post Sabbath prayers be done in a more focused manner. I chose to kneel at the side of my bed in the stereotypically position for nightly prayers. While in this position I conduct the me-speaking-to-God parts of prayer; the God-speaking-to-me parts of the prayers are done when I then crawl into bed and lie there, waiting to fall asleep. At first, this was very awkward (side note: awkward is very awkward to spell), but have gradually become less awkward. It does work to focus my mind on the thoughts/feelings etc that I want to convey to God. The letting God into the time when I’m falling asleep can, at times, be rather annoying (That’s probably a bad thing that I am annoyed with God’s impressions on my brain, I assume I’ll get over it, though). Rather than being able to fall asleep, Friday night I received multiple impressions of things to look up or things to consider, each requiring me to turn the light back on and find the appropriate Bible passage to read and mull over. In the end, I think it’ll be worth it to keep my prayers in this two-part format, and so I will continue to do so, both on Sabbaths, and throughout the week.

Bible-reading

I have heard tales of people needing an answer to a problem, only to find the answer on the first page that they open their Bible to; a big act of Divine providence. In the past I was reluctant to believe such stories, but when it happened to me twice this Sabbath, I am becoming a believer. The first one was to Isaiah 28: 13a, which says “So then, the word of the Lord to them will become: Do and do, do and Do, rule on rule, rule on rule; a little here, a little there”. A little background into the text, it is describing what somebody, who doesn’t listen to the Lord or do what He commands, will think of when he hears all the rules and restrictions put into place by God; what is meant to bring about a blessing for the follower, simply comes across as a list of do’s/don’ts. This can be applied to somebody who looks at all the rules that I am placing on myself for Project Sabbath, without understanding the meaning of the project. Basically, this text, at least in for me, gave me faith that I was on the right track with Project Sabbath.

The second one occurred when I started to chip away at the parts of the Bible that I haven’t read yet. This Sabbath I was drawn to 2 Thessalonians. Mind you I have not read all of 1 Thessalonians, and while not reliant on each other, left to choose for myself I would have started with #1. I had a strong urge to stick with 2 Thessalonians, however, and so I did. It was the 3rd chapter that really seemed to hit home. It is here that Paul gives an indictment for those who are idle. Ever since I came off of Project Fast, my 2-week long internet/tv/movie fast, my productivity level has dropped dramatically. Homework has been pushed aside for tv-watching, game playing and random Google searches for random things. Coupled with the part of the 4th commandment which says “Six days you shall labor, and do all your work”, I clearly needed to overhaul my mid-week activities, and so resolved to do so over this week. I would do all my homework and any movie/tv watching done in the remaining free time would be accompanied by an activity, such as crocheting, that helps others. This more-or-less continuous labor during the week would only serve to enhance the Sabbath, and so I sought to add it to my guidelines of Project Sabbath.

(Note: in the few days since Sabbath, I really haven’t been doing a good job keeping this up. While my homework does eventually get done, it takes second fiddle to tv-watching/internet surging, which for the most part hasn’t included any crocheting. I will make a sincere effort to try and do better during the rest of this week.)

Specialness

In addition to the already established rules/regulations/guidelines I have sought this week to add more rules/restrictions/guidelines to enhance the specialness of the Sabbath. These new additions include the opening and closing prayers and the increasing of work throughout the rest of the week, both of which I have already discussed. One thing that I haven’t discussed yet is that of a higher dress code. Sabbath will feel that much more separated, because I will wear different and better clothes on the day, and not just during church but through the entirety of the Sabbath (except for when I am in bed). Although I have not committed fully to this idea, I have thought of going down to the Prado Homeless Shelter and hanging out with the people there for awhile on Sabbaths. While I do not think that I will do it this coming Sabbath, it is a definite possibility for future Sabbaths.

Denying Oneself

This project is continually growing in scope and has started to move simply beyond the hours of the Sabbath. I am starting to see the words of Luke 19:23 and the denial of oneself in a whole new light.

(I want to apologize for the untimely manner in which this was posted. Events and assignments conspired against me, not allowing me to write this before now. In the future, the posts should be up the following Sunday at the latest.)