Origins: Pastor Bobby & Project Fast

Most of you are probably wondering why I would choose to put myself through this; a simple question, with a decently long explanation.

First of all, I am a Seventh-Day Adventist, and have been my entire life. Like the name suggests, we SDA's hold the Sabbath with high regard. However, what is done on the Sabbath, besides going to church, has typically been left up to the individual. I grew up in a rather liberal household, and so we children were not really held to any rules governing our Sabbath behavior, except for no working. This only got worse as I went to college.

It was recently pointed out to me, by Pastor Bobby (while not officially a pastor, Bobby is a pastor to me), that these actions were hypocritical to my SDA faith, and that new potential-Christians might be turned away from Christianity if they saw me doing this. I couldn't let that happen, and so sought to do something about it.

I recently was on (actually, I just got off of it) a Internet/TV/Movie fast that lasted for 2 weeks, which I am now calling Project Fast. I decided to do Project Fast at the urging of another pastor of mine, Josh. Fasting is a spiritual discipline that traditionally involves people forgoing eating and drinking for a set period of time. In the past this was a big deal, because the majority of people's days were devoted to the preparation of food; not so much today, because of the invention of grocery stores. If I wanted to truly fast, Josh said, then i should seek to cut out the portion of my life that was the largest, and devote that time to God; for the ancients it was food, for me it was Internet/TV/Movies. I successfully completed 2 weeks of Project Fast. While it was a good experience, I am glad it is over. What I took from Project Fast is that I can actually, with a little bit of accountability, keep a fast.

I am therefore, honoring the suggestion of both my pastors, Bobby and Josh, by keeping the Sabbath with fasting from pretty much everything in my life, and devoting the time to God.

It probably won't be easy, but the good things in life rarely are.

Sabbath #1: In The Beginning...

To be honest, this Sabbath did not feel like all that special of a day. At least it was not special when compared to all the other Sabbaths that I've experienced in my life.

One of the main reasons was this Sabbath's proximity to my last fast, the 3-week long internet/tv/movie fast. Instead it felt more like a normal day, and the three days this week that I was off the fast were the weird ones. I have a feeling that this will pass as I get more accustomed to doing things normally throughout the rest of the week. The one thing that was unique about today was the lack of food.

Despite some heated debating amongst my friends, I have decided to keep the fasting part of my journey. However, after consulting with a dietitian (namely my mother), I have decided to allow the drinking of water. Probably a good thing.

Now for the happenings on this, my first Sabbath. Friday night was taken up entirely by the "Hope for Haiti", a benefit concert that my church group and I put on, together with Sally Loo's Wholesome Cafe. It was AMAZING by the way. I found myself bending a few of the regulations, but since it was all for the people in Haiti, no rules were broken. On Saturday, I got up, went to church and then promptly went home and slept for 3 hours. When I woke up, I spent a little time thinking and then set about reading Philippians and Jude for the remainder of the Sabbath.

To give myself a little bit of something to do/strive for, I will attempt to read all of the New Testament during Project Sabbath; if I finish the New, I'll move back to the Old in a roughly reverse order. While I've read a good portion of the Bible, I have not read it in its entirety. The most noticeable holes are the New Testament, and the end of the Old, basically from Job onward. The reading I do will not be simply reading it, but rather studying it and marking down my impressions/thoughts. I expect my Bible to be pretty marked up by the end.

Overall, the first week was a success, but still lacking in a way. I didn't feel like I was fasting for a whole day. I think in future weeks this will pass, as my Friday nights won't be taken up by long concerts. However, if this feeling of a lack of commitment continues, I will consider extending the hours of my Sabbaths to include Saturday nights, but I won't make that decision now.

Sabbath #2: The Fun Begins

Last Sabbath did not feel like it counted. I kept all the parts of the fast, but my time, and therefore my mind were occupied by various activities that occupied the better part of the Sabbath, namely the benefit concert and a rather long nap (3 hours). This week was, in my opinion, the first true test of my resolve and felt more like I anticipated that it would. My experiences/struggles/ideas are chronicled here:

Food

This was probably the hardest part of the whole Sabbath. Mainly because I had to sit through two meals (Rochelle’s manicotti smelled especially good) while my friends ate in front of me. It also took a considerable amount of restraint to not gorge myself at the Tabuenca’s house upon the end of my fast. The roll I had right before heading over there was not so lucky and was pretty much all gone in the time it took for me to walk from the kitchen to the front door; the word annihilation comes to mind. For the most part, though, it was just a dull reminder in my stomach that Sabbath is a special day; the not eating also highlighted for others the fact that I was honoring Project Sabbath.

After reading a little bit of Shane Claiborne’s “The Irresistible Revolution: Living as an Ordinary Radical”, thinking of stories like Zacchaeus (Luke 19), and considering Jesus’ words about giving your money to the poor, I will make my food fasts more meaningful. Rather than simply abstaining from food, all the money that I would have been spending on food ($5/meal) will go to the poor ($180 total for the duration of Project Sabbath). The money will be given as a straight donation or used to buy raw materials for projects such as crocheting, with the products made being given to the poor.

Prayer

One of the big areas that has been lacking in my life is prayer. It would not be out of the ordinary for me to go long stretches of time without praying, unless prompted to by others at church etc. Since one of the main goals of Project Sabbath is to connect with God, I figured I should start praying. I’m setting for myself a minimum of 1 prayer a day, typically taken before I go to bed, and a prayer to start and end the Sabbath; more prayer is obviously strongly suggested, but this is a minimum. Rather than simply lie in bed and let my prayer be at the mercy of my sleepiness and wandering mind, I am choosing that my end-day and pre/post Sabbath prayers be done in a more focused manner. I chose to kneel at the side of my bed in the stereotypically position for nightly prayers. While in this position I conduct the me-speaking-to-God parts of prayer; the God-speaking-to-me parts of the prayers are done when I then crawl into bed and lie there, waiting to fall asleep. At first, this was very awkward (side note: awkward is very awkward to spell), but have gradually become less awkward. It does work to focus my mind on the thoughts/feelings etc that I want to convey to God. The letting God into the time when I’m falling asleep can, at times, be rather annoying (That’s probably a bad thing that I am annoyed with God’s impressions on my brain, I assume I’ll get over it, though). Rather than being able to fall asleep, Friday night I received multiple impressions of things to look up or things to consider, each requiring me to turn the light back on and find the appropriate Bible passage to read and mull over. In the end, I think it’ll be worth it to keep my prayers in this two-part format, and so I will continue to do so, both on Sabbaths, and throughout the week.

Bible-reading

I have heard tales of people needing an answer to a problem, only to find the answer on the first page that they open their Bible to; a big act of Divine providence. In the past I was reluctant to believe such stories, but when it happened to me twice this Sabbath, I am becoming a believer. The first one was to Isaiah 28: 13a, which says “So then, the word of the Lord to them will become: Do and do, do and Do, rule on rule, rule on rule; a little here, a little there”. A little background into the text, it is describing what somebody, who doesn’t listen to the Lord or do what He commands, will think of when he hears all the rules and restrictions put into place by God; what is meant to bring about a blessing for the follower, simply comes across as a list of do’s/don’ts. This can be applied to somebody who looks at all the rules that I am placing on myself for Project Sabbath, without understanding the meaning of the project. Basically, this text, at least in for me, gave me faith that I was on the right track with Project Sabbath.

The second one occurred when I started to chip away at the parts of the Bible that I haven’t read yet. This Sabbath I was drawn to 2 Thessalonians. Mind you I have not read all of 1 Thessalonians, and while not reliant on each other, left to choose for myself I would have started with #1. I had a strong urge to stick with 2 Thessalonians, however, and so I did. It was the 3rd chapter that really seemed to hit home. It is here that Paul gives an indictment for those who are idle. Ever since I came off of Project Fast, my 2-week long internet/tv/movie fast, my productivity level has dropped dramatically. Homework has been pushed aside for tv-watching, game playing and random Google searches for random things. Coupled with the part of the 4th commandment which says “Six days you shall labor, and do all your work”, I clearly needed to overhaul my mid-week activities, and so resolved to do so over this week. I would do all my homework and any movie/tv watching done in the remaining free time would be accompanied by an activity, such as crocheting, that helps others. This more-or-less continuous labor during the week would only serve to enhance the Sabbath, and so I sought to add it to my guidelines of Project Sabbath.

(Note: in the few days since Sabbath, I really haven’t been doing a good job keeping this up. While my homework does eventually get done, it takes second fiddle to tv-watching/internet surging, which for the most part hasn’t included any crocheting. I will make a sincere effort to try and do better during the rest of this week.)

Specialness

In addition to the already established rules/regulations/guidelines I have sought this week to add more rules/restrictions/guidelines to enhance the specialness of the Sabbath. These new additions include the opening and closing prayers and the increasing of work throughout the rest of the week, both of which I have already discussed. One thing that I haven’t discussed yet is that of a higher dress code. Sabbath will feel that much more separated, because I will wear different and better clothes on the day, and not just during church but through the entirety of the Sabbath (except for when I am in bed). Although I have not committed fully to this idea, I have thought of going down to the Prado Homeless Shelter and hanging out with the people there for awhile on Sabbaths. While I do not think that I will do it this coming Sabbath, it is a definite possibility for future Sabbaths.

Denying Oneself

This project is continually growing in scope and has started to move simply beyond the hours of the Sabbath. I am starting to see the words of Luke 19:23 and the denial of oneself in a whole new light.

(I want to apologize for the untimely manner in which this was posted. Events and assignments conspired against me, not allowing me to write this before now. In the future, the posts should be up the following Sunday at the latest.)

Sabbath #3: The Food Smells Really Good

This Sabbath was wierd in that I was looking forward to both its beginning and its end. The week before this Sabbath was very long and not very restful, and so I was looking forward to the ability to rest. I was looking forward to the end, because that was when I could eat again. Overall, though, this Sabbath was not very special.

Unintentionality

In a past Bible study we went through Leviticus. Among many other laws and regulations, are the ones concerning unintentional sins. Some of us were unable to grasp how somebody could sin unintentionally. They know the laws, and they know what they are doing, so they should know that they are sinning, therefore no sins would be unintentional. This Sabbath, however, I experienced unintentionally "sinning". I'm not entirely sure that it is, in fact, a sin, but I do know that buying gas does break the rules I set out during Project Sabbath. I knew exactly what I was doing, buying gas, but it never crossed my mind, at least not until after I had finished pumping and paying for the gas, that I was violating the rules. I now have a new respect for a God who would think to include regulations for the unintentional sinners, myself included.

Food

Of all the things that I was focusing on this Sabbath, food was the thing I was focusing on the most. Once again, I was tested in my fast by some very good smelling food prepared by the hands of Yvonne Macias, a very good cook for those of you who are unfamiliar with her. I got to sit at a table while a dozen or so other people were eating, while I had to sit back and consume only water. Yvonne was gracious enough to save some food for me, which I pretty much annihilated once the sun went down.

The Remainder

With all the things that were happening, I did not have the time to do hardly any soul searching/growing in faith. Friday night was taken up by the passing out of bags as part of a food drive that we are holding. Saturday afternoon was taken up with hanging out at the Macias' house, and thinking about the food I was going to be eating when the sun finally went down. This doesn't mean that this Sabbath was a waste. I helped people with the food drive and grew closer to my friends by hanging out and socializing. In future weeks, however, I will make sure there is at least some emphasis on the getting closer to God, especially since that is the ultimate goal of Project Sabbath.

Sabbath #4: I'm Not Hungry

Looking back over the last 3 Sabbaths, the thing that was at the forefront was food; more specifically is was my wanting to eat food, but not being able to do so. This Sabbath I focussed on not focussing on the food. Rather I would start focusing on what really mattered.

Eating

While sometimes we say we are going to do something, only to fail miserably, I actually succeeded, with some much needed help from above, in not being hungry for the majority of the Sabbath. While I was a little bit hungry, it was no more than I would have been feeling had I actually eaten.

It seams like every time I sit down to a meal during the Sabbath (a meal that I can't partake of), people apologize for the fact that they are eating. This does not help me in the slightest in holding back my urge to eat; it actually makes it worse. It highlights the fact that I am not eating. Rather I want people to be eating all the more voraciously, and to appreciate the food that they are eating. If I can't eat, you guys might as well eat and not feel sorry for me.

Feasting

One of the spiritual disciplines that I'm finding I am learning a lot about is feasting. Feasting is pretty much the exact opposite of fasting, but they both have the same goal, appreciation. Feasting is the partaking something, a meal for instance, in recognition of all the blessings that God has given us, and to enjoy it all the more because it is a gift from God; fasting is not partaking some, a meal for instance, to show us all the blessings that God has given us, and to enjoy them all the more when we are able to partake of them because they are gifts from God. Fasting and feasting can work hand in hand. What better time to have a feast then when you have just finished fasting? While I have been eating a large meal upon the completion of each Sabbath, I will now take part in feasting while I eat that meal. It is for this same reason that I ask the rest of you to eat all the more voraciously while I can't; because you should be appreciating the gifts that God has given you.

Bible Reading

Last Sabbath, I didn't do any Bible reading, so this Sabbath I made it a point to do some. This Sabbath I focused my efforts on 1 Peter. I had read a little bit of it before, actually one of my favorite Bible verses is 1 Peter 1:15-16 "But just as he who called you is holy, so be hole in all you do; for it is written; "Be holy, because I am holy." (the explanation for why this is my favorite is too long to write here, so if you are curious, come and ask me) In 1 Peter, it talks about living for God and not being afraid to suffer for God and what you believe. The one thought that I had is:

What would it look like if we were so full of the Holy Spirit that we were doing things that caused us to suffer? Not bringing suffering upon ourselves for suffering's sake. Rather that by being so fully immersed in the Holy Spirit and allowing Him to work in, and through us, that we would actually cause the world to start persecuting us if they wanted to try and stop the Spirit from working?

It's a crazy idea to yearn for suffering, one that I hope to explore in the coming weeks.

Sorry for the Delay

Hello to all of you, my dear and loyal followers. If you're reading/following this blog and are paying a little bit of attention, you will have noticed that I have not posted anything for quite some time now. This is mainly due to my busy schedule and procrastinatory tendencies. I'm also not in the habit of writing on a regular basis.

But, I'm here to tell you that I'm not giving up this blog. I promise that I will eventually get around to writing all of the posts. While I cannot guarantee that I will remember every minute detail, do remember the general ideas and the overall feeling I had on each Sabbath. I will do my best, however.

For the sake of you, my readers, I plan to space out my posts so that you have manageable amounts of new material to read. The hope is that, starting this weekend, I will post one new week (maybe two, if I'm feeling so inclined).

So sit back, relax, and prepare for the awesomeness that is to come.

A Year Later: The Final Summary

Well, I obviously did not follow through with my promise to keep the blog going throughout the entire project.

Sorry. Life Happens. I assume you'll get over it.


While I can't provide the exact details of the latter half of the project (my memory is good, but not that good), I can provide a year-later look-back, and so that is what I will do.

Here goes:

Through the first parts of Project Sabbath, I feel I was simply going through the motions in an attempt to spark life (or frankly anything) into my relationship with God. It wasn't until Week 7 (or something close to that) that I truly felt God.

It was an interesting Sabbath that day. I don't remember what specifically it was that I did that day to trigger it, but I felt "the call". This was not a subtle nudging (I've experienced a few of those before), but rather an all out mental barrage; a true mind-blowing experience. It was a call to truly give my life over to God, and to completely change who I was. These are, of course,the cliched words used to describe just about every new Christian's conversion experience. And while I don't think they are entirely accurate in describing my experience that Sabbath, there was a "call", a potential turning point in my, to use another cliche, Christian walk.

And how did I answer?

I didn't

Rather than rising to the occasion, answering the call, and potentially ushering in a complete life-overhaul, I got scared. It was too overwhelming for me and I retreated back into the safety of my old ways.

The rest of the Project Sabbath was spent more or less in autopilot. I still kept the rules and followed the guidelines, biding my time until I no longer had to. And by the end I was glad it was over.

In the subsequent months I retreated even farther into my shell. I became more aloof and put more distance between me and God. And now I recognize what I've been doing these last few months.


So maybe its time to start to do something about it. Maybe its time to start to come out of my spiritual shell. Is it time for Project Sabbath 2: the Resurrection? Probably not (especially with that title). But it is time for a deliberate attempt to reconnect with God.

Hopefully this time, I'll have a better answer for "the call".